Pre-Carter post...

As I'm sitting here this morning reflecting on everything that has happened in the past 6 months....and thinking about what is about to happen in the next few days, I can't help but express some feelings for journaling purposes.

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Today is Tuesday (3 days before we make our way to California to await the arrival of Carter Aaron Pew). I've been busy making sure Kylee will be taken care of, rides are arranged for her activities, play dates are set, clothes washed, outfits arranged, notes and letters from us written out for her to read every morning.......tears of realizing how much I'm going to miss her while we are gone, and how much I'm going to miss the one-on-one time we have had for the past 6 years. Nothing can compare to the excitement we feel as a family to be bringing Carter into our home and lives for eternity....NOTHING!! But the realization of things changing around here is starting to show. Kylee is extremely clingy to me and doesn't want me to leave her room after we say our nightly prayers. She seems to only want me lately for everything. She has said that she doesn't want to go to school and just wants to stay home and have a Mommy-daughter day. She hears me say...."Kylee, you can do 'this or that' by yourself....you don't need me to do it for you. You are a big girl. Once Carter comes, I won't be able to help you with these little things all the time". (Given these "little things" are small tasks such as hanging up her towel after her shower, helping her clean her room, organizing her book shelf, etc). These are things she needs to do herself anyway. She has been spoiled her whole life because Mommy has been able to be there for every little tiny detail in her life. But despite her moments of sadness, she is the most excited little girl to be a big sister soon. She wants to help with every little thing, and she will be the best helper I could ever ask for. She is going to love Carter more than she can imagine.

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My heart is already open and has loved Carter from day one. I never imagined what sharing my heart and love with two children could possibly be like. But I now understand that it is possible and very real. Kylee will always be my baby and I am so thankful for the 6 years I have had to give her 100% of all I have. I will continue to give her all that I have, but now I'm going to be giving all I have to sweet Carter boy too.....so even though the love will be the same, things are going to be changing.

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As I think about what it's going to be like in California and all that is going to be taking place, I can't help but be extremely overwhelmed with the spirit, with gladness, with pure joy.....but yet with such a heavy heart for our sweet birth mother. I love her more than words can express. She has changed my life in more ways than one. To me, she is the most amazing woman in the world! She knows what she is doing is the right thing to do for both her and for Carter. It will make both their lives better in the end. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. She loves Carter more than words can say. I'm so thankful his birth mother and I have such a unique and strong bond so that I can always have amazing and wonderful stories and examples to share with him as he grows up. He will know that he was loved from the second he was created and that he has more people that love him than most people do here on this earth. He is such a lucky little man! I love that he will never have to question where he came from. He will always know that his birth Mom is the most amazing woman who loves him more than anything.

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I never expected our adoption journey to end this way. If I could have planned and written it out the way I wanted it to be, I never could have dreamed of something this wonderful and absolutely perfect. Saying that I feel lucky and blessed, doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling. And I know those feelings are going to be magnified 1,000% once I hold Carter in my arms. Oh he is going to be so absolutely perfect in every way!

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With so many emotions running through me, I don't feel like I'm making sense as I write it all out. But with each passing hour that brings us closer to our baby boy, I can't help but get these feelings out of me and on "paper". It helps me relax a little and to just breathe and take one moment at a time. I know that what David and I are about to experience is going to be the most spiritual experience of our lives. I know that all things are possible through our Savior Jesus Christ and I know that He will strengthen our birth mother through this process and that He will help us through this transition as well. I love my little family!

So happy!

I woke up this morning with so much gratitude. Maybe it was because of the amazing messages I heard at conference this weekend. All I know is that I have an amazing life filled with more blessings that I can count. I don't feel deserving of most of them. Somehow I was lucky enough to be born into the church and raised in an amazing family with siblings that I consider to be my best friends. I have supportive, loving parents who have solid testimonies of the gospel. I have an amazing group of friends who kept me grounded and "on the straight and narrow path" during my crazy teenage years.....and who are still my closest friends! I have made new friends throughout my life who have made an impact on my life in more ways than one whom I love dearly. I was blessed with many talents that I'm so thankful for and am happy to share those talents with others. I have coached the most amazing girls throughout the past 10 years and find great joy watching those girls excel. I have been blessed with the most amazing callings, especially with the youth and I find even greater joy watching those young women and sweet primary children grow and develop in the gospel....and in life! All these blessings and more have made me who I am today and I wouldn't change a thing. But the most amazing blessing in my life is my sweet little family, who is still in the process of growing.

I don't know what I did to deserve such an amazing man. I could never say enough about him and how good he is to me. He is the best father I could ask for and he works so hard to support our family....physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for him. I also thank my Father in Heaven for the family that came with David. I LOVE my Mother-in-law more than I could say. And all of his family has blessed our lives in so many ways and I love every single one of them!

How we got blessed with the most perfect daughter is beyond me! She was sent to us to be our angel and to teach us, guide us, and keep us focused on what life is all about. She makes us smile everyday and she gives us hope for our future. I don't know what I did to deserve her. She is so beautiful inside and out and impresses me daily with the things she is learning and can do.

I was blessed......YES BLESSED......with the trial of infertility after Kylee was born. This was always my biggest fear growing up when I was young because all I ever wanted to be was a mother. After we got pregnant with Kylee right away, I thought my fear was just that.....fear! But little did I know that it was going to be my reality. I didn't embrace it or want to accept it. I always had hope that something would work. I had many MANY ups and downs with it. But thankfully I was blessed with unshakable faith. Another amazing blessing that Heavenly Father somehow saw that I was deserving of. This faith has literally carried me through this trial. And just when I was about to give up, I was yet AGAIN blessed beyond my belief.

How I got so lucky to be getting this amazing TRUE angel will always be beyond me. Adoption was always something I talked about when I was young too. I would say...."as soon as I'm done having kids, I want to adopt a baby....just because". Little did I know that this would be my reality as well....but not JUST BECAUSE. This is the amazing way that Heavenly Father intended for me and David to expand our family. I embraced and accepted it, relying heavily on that faith I was blessed with. It was hard....it was extremely emotional. But somehow through it all, I was yet again blessed beyond belief with the most amazing birth mother who was going to be giving us her precious angel. Again....I can't stop thinking to myself "how did I get so lucky"? And by "lucky", I mean blessed.

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This is why my heart is full of gratitude this morning. I woke up thinking about my life and how I got to where I am today. And because of everything I just said, I will forever be eternally grateful to my Father in Heaven because I know that none of this could have been possible without Him.

The thing that I'm most grateful for.........to have the knowledge that I am a daughter of my Father in Heaven and he loves me and wants me to be happy. With this knowledge, anything is possible!

FALL IS HERE!!!!

I know it's the first day of Fall, but it doesn't feel like it considering it's still triple digits today. However, I am trusting the calendar and celebrating this day because I've been waiting for Fall to get here for a LONGGGG time now! This Fall will bring amazing weather, cute fashion (boots!!), it will take us one step closer to the holidays, and of course it means that Carter is almost here! We are about 5 weeks and counting until we welcome our sweet baby boy into our family. The excitement in our home is building more and more with each passing day. We are starting to buy more and more baby stuff for our little man, his crib is all set up, we got to go visit our AMAZING birth mother again and meet more of her awesome family.....it's just heaven over here and can't believe we are living our dream! I'm so thankful for all the online baby sales lately. I had a fun night the other night ordering away for our handsome guy. These shoes are just so stinkin' cute!

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When we got home from our visit with our birth mother, we were surprised with the stoller I've been wanting! My sisters and my Mom knew we were going to go out and buy this when we got home from our trip so they decided to get it for us. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it and love my amazing family!!!

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The reason for our pure joy.....CARTER!!!

Our birth mother set up another ultra sound for us to go see how much he has grown and changed since our last visit 6 weeks ago. His cheeks are chubbier than ever and he was smiling SO MUCH again! He is going to be our healthy (aka...super cute chunky) and smiley/happy baby! Oh we can't wait to meet him and give him all our love!!!!

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We kept Kylee girl home with my parents so she can save her "missed days of school" for when Carter comes. We missed her so much but we will miss her even more when we will need to stay in California for a while once Carter is born. So we saved her days so that she can stay with us for a few days during that time.

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We feel so incredibly blessed and we love our babies so much! It's going to be hard for me to realize that Kylee isn't my baby anymore! She hasn't been my "baby" for a while now considering she is 6 and in 1st grade, but she will always be my baby to me. Always! But I think I need to stop calling her "baby". That is my main nick name for her. Not sure if I will be able to stop calling her that. It's just habit. I'm sure it will phase out when I start calling Carter "baby". I can't have two babies! Oh I'm sooooo excited to have two kids! I'm so excited to have a boy! I'm so ready. Bring on the sleepless nights, the poopy diapers, the constant spit up all over my freshly washed shirts....bring it all on! I can't wait!

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BRING ON FALL!!!

Goodbye August

With August gone, that means a few things. 1 - Kylee is one year older, 2 - summer is nearing to an end, 3 - volleyball season has officially started, and 4 - it's one month closer to us getting our Carter boy! Bring on September and let's hope it goes by just as fast!

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OUR AUGUST...

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We had lots of fun as a family but we were also able to spend some time with our friends. I have talked a lot about my "girls" and how we have been close since grade school.....and I love that we still find the time to all get together! We had a BBQ at Heather's new house. Jodi left before we took this picture, but here's 5 of us (missing Christina and Jodi). We had a great time catching up with all our busy lives!

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Onto Kylee and her recent happenings. I stayed with Natalie and Deron's kids for a few days while they were in New York. Some random fun....Kylee, Kyrstin and Dylan mattress sliding down the stairs. Oh to be a kid again!

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Kylee's amazing writing skills! I love it!

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Hat day at school. She was super excited to wear her dance recital hat!

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We started Kylee in gymnastics this year. She has taken 2 years of dance and has taken a tumbling class, but she has never taken a real gymnastics class in a gym. She is loving it and loves having two of her friends from church there.

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I've noticed something missing in my last few posts. I don't talk about David enough! He is the super hero Dad and husband behind the scenes and doesn't get a lot of "publicity"! Haha! But he is just that.....an amazing husband and father and Kylee and I don't know what we'd do without him. He works so hard to support our family and is the reason why we are able to have the amazing life that we have. I'll be sure to include him in more pictures so that he can be a part of my blog too. Haha!

Good-bye summer break...

Well, summer break is over and Kylee is officially a 1st grader!!!! Soooo much has happened this summer. I really need to update my blog more than once a month because I have so much to journal and so many pictures to post. I had to cut them down so this post won't get too overwhelming!

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Since my last post, I spilled the beans and mentioned that we are adopting a beautiful baby boy! He is still "cooking" and won't be here until the end of October, but we are anxiously awaiting his arrival and preparing to welcome our little man into our lives. Everything with our adoption journey is wonderful and couldn't be better. I'll talk more about that later.

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I'm kind of OCD when it comes to my blog and I have to talk about thing in order from when they happened. Haha! So first things first! Christina turned 30! Just to explain, I grew up with an amazing group of friends....all LDS....and we have been each other's support group from day one. I don't know what I'd do without my girls. Well, Christina is the oldest out of us by a couple months so she has always been the first one to "get older". Well, we all knew this year was coming....but did it have to be here already? Ugh! We are all turning 30 this year and Christina was the first one to take the plunge. Those of us who were in town all got together to help celebrate her big day. Words can't express just how much I love this girl. :)

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Kylee has been keeping busy this summer with her cousins. Since moving from Queen Creek, she has been making friends in our new ward but she has also had the chance to get closer to my side of the family. Kylee misses her Queen Creek cousins DEARLY, but she is also loving this time with her "West-side" cousins. She had quite a few sleep overs at Aunt Nanny's house and spent some quality girl time with her cousin Kyrstin and friend Landyn. She also has spent quite a few summer days swimming at Aunt Tera's with her cousins there, and spending some fun time at the Montez home with her cousins there. I don't have any pics of that but she has had the best summer with all of her cousins!

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The highlight of our summer was going to meet our birth Mom in San Diego! We decided to make a little "trip" out of it and went up a few days early to see Grandma Deede and Grandpa Jiggs. It was Grandma's birthday so we were excited to spend the day with her while we were there. No trip to Grandma Deede's is complete without swimming!!! Here is Kylee and Daddy enjoying a hot and extremely humid swim!

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After spending a couple days in El Centro, we drove out to San Diego to meet our birth mother. We couldn't wait!!!! We spent a great day with her and her family. We feel so blessed to be adopting from such a wonderful family. We don't know how we got so lucky! After spending the first day in San Diego with the birth Mom and her family, we went back and got to go to a 3D ultra sound with her. It was the most amazing thing I've seen!!!!! We got to see our little guy swimming and dancing on the screen. It was beautiful. Kylee got to see it too. We are so glad she was able to experience all of this first hand. It helps her understand where her baby brother is coming from. Here she is all dressed and ready to see her brother....

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And here he is......our handsome little man! We have had a heck of a time trying to figure out what his name is. He is such a special guy that we knew there was a very special name that was meant to be his. So through much prayer and recommendations galore from everyone we knew, we found his name! Everyone....this is CARTER AARON PEW! :)

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It was a great trip and we absolutely love our birth mother! She is amazing and comes from an even more amazing family. We feel so incredibly blessed!
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Now onto our Kylee girl. She turned 6 years old on August 9th! Time is flying by and we love watching our princess grow and learn more everyday. With things being a little crazy this summer, we didn't have a big "blow out" party like we have every year. But we did have two small little celebrations. The first one was a joint celebration with my family. There are a lot of birthdays in August on my side of the family so we all celebrated at Natalie's house and had a fun time! Then we took Kylee out to Queen Creek to celebrate at Peter Piper Pizza with all our family and her friends out there. Kylee was so excited to see all her cousins that she hadn't seen in a while. They are all amazing and we miss them everyday!

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Of course with Kylee turning one year older, that means my traditional birthday "picture" post comes with it! I try to find different pictures when I do this so I'm not posting the same ones every year. So with that...here is the growth and progress of our princess:

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New born (2 weeks old)

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6 months old

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1 year old

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2 years old

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3 years old

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4 years old


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5 years old

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6 years old

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With summer break over, that means Kylee has started 1st grade! She started at her new school and she is loving it so far. She luckily has 1 girl from her primary class in her school class, and another girl from her primary class in the room next to her school class. So she gets to play at recess and eat lunch with both of her new friends. And I know she is making more new friends everyday at school. I'm so thankful she is a social butterfly and doesn't have a hard time making friends. We are so proud of her and the person she is becoming.
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Here are some pictures of her first day of school!

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We love you baby bear....more than you'll ever know! We can't wait for you to be a big sister (VERY SOON!!!) and know you will be the best big sister Carter could ever wish for. You are going to be the best helper ever. And Carter is going to be the most loved little guy ever! All our prayers are coming true this year. It's amazing to go through so many years and months of hardships and to finally see where all those tears have lead us. We can't believe how amazing it all is. We never expected it to be THIS good. Heavenly Father loves us more than we can ever possibly imagine. Life is so good! :)

BLESSINGS!

Time and patience is something that I have grown to learn and accept over the past 8 years. For example:

*3 years = the time it took for David to finally agree that it was time to start our family (Kylee)

*27 1/2 hours = the length of my labor with Kylee (without a functional epidural)

*3 1/2 years = the amount of time we spent doing fertility treatments and other surgeries to try and get pregnant again

*3 months = the time it took to get certified to adopt (thanks to a lazy case worker)

*3 weeks = the amount of time it took to hear from our first birth mother

*5 months = the dry spell we had where we didn't hear from a single birth mother

*2 weeks = the amount of time it took for the perfect birth mother to decide we were the family for her precious baby

*Eternity = the endless amount of time I get to love and cherish my sweet miracle baby that is soon to join our family!

The events that have taken place over the past month have been absolutely amazing! I've never before seen the Lord's hand so evident in my life. We decided to move to the West Valley with my parents to pay off our astounding fertility bills, but little did we know that the Lord was directing us here to put us in the hands of those that were going to help us expand our family. The first Sunday here I met the first person that was going to help us in this journey. She taught the Relief Society lesson and told of her own adoption story with her 3 children. It was just what I needed to hear after being discouraged with our adoption situation. She then referred me to an amazing case worker out here on the West Valley. This case worker was the next person to help us in this journey. She has given us new hope and ambition to move forward with adoption (after wanting to give up). The 3rd person to help us was someone that has been in my life since I was a baby! I grew up with her. She is one of my most dearest and BEST friends. Miss Christina Contreras was in the right place at the right time and had certain friends in her life that helped her become an instrument in helping us expand our family. Due to a friend contact who knew a birth mother wanting to place her baby, we were able to find the answers to all our prayers! We are now preparing to become a family of 4 and our lives are forever changing!

Words can't express just how much I love and appreciate this birth mother. Not only is she entrusting her precious baby to us, but she has also been the perfect example of faith, endurance, love, and courage. We have learned so much from her in the short amount of time that we have been in contact with her. The Lord has guided us into each other's lives for a very special and unique purpose. It's amazing to me to see how great His love is for each and every one of His children. I know He loves me and knows the desires of my heart. I am so thankful to have this knowledge. I am in shock at how fast this is all happening after years and years of heartache....but I know that it is happening this way because it is meant to be and it is all in the Lord's hands. I can't wait to hold our new baby in our arms....to love him, kiss him, watch him grow, see his talents and abilities form and prosper, and the list goes on and on. I just can't wait to be his Mommy!!!

The happiness we feel as a family cannot be measured. The smile on my face hasn't left since July 1st when I read the first email from this amazing birth mother. Life is SO good and I feel extreme peace knowing that my Father in Heaven is the one in control. I just pray that I can continue to live my life the way He wants me to so that I can receive those blessings He is waiting to pour out upon me and my family. His plan is greater than any plan I could ever want for myself. I'm so thankful to be on this journey! Our Pewfect family is closer to becoming complete! Life is just Pewfect!!!!!!

OLD MAN!!!!

I'd like to dedicate this entire post to a very special someone!!!! The one, the only....MR. PEWFECTION!!! He's my birthday boy today, turning the big 32! I could go on and on about this amazing guy but I'll let the pictures do most of the talking!

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We have so much fun together and I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have him FOREVER! :)

(At Disneyland on the Toy Story ride)

(Road trip home from Utah)

(At a Diamondback's game)

(Bowling with friends)

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I can't say enough about the kind of father David is. Kylee (and any future children to come) are the luckiest kids ever to have him as their Daddy! One thing that I absolutely LOVE about David is how great he is with children. So it's no wonder why every other kid loves him.......but no kid loves him more than his Kylee princess!!!

(Dancing at the Daddy-Daughter dance at Kylee's school)

(Making faces at the camera...being silly together, as usual!)

(Playing with each other while waiting in line at Disneyland to see the princesses)

(Posing before we eat a yummy meal at Cheesecake Factory)

(Gotta love how Natalie captures all the great moments behind her camera.....this is one of my most favorite pictures of all time)

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The number one thing I LOVE LOVE LOVE about David is how he always makes me laugh. There is never a dull moment around our house and in our lives thanks to this guy right here. Here are just a couple classic moments caught on camera that pretty much define who David is...

(Always cracking sarcastic jokes and he laughing at himself! No one laughs more at his jokes than HIMSELF!)

(Posing next to his "twin"....Jared from Subway. HAHAHAHAHA)

(And of course, playing practical jokes on all of us at the beach. Just incase you are wondering, this is really a twig! Haha)

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Oh how I love this guy!!!! Happy birthday old man! :) I love you more than you'll ever know!

Adoption Journey Update...

We haven't had much to report in the past 5 months....until now! We had a crazy long and sad 5 month dry streak where we hadn't heard from any birth mothers. It was a very trying time for me personally. A time where I began to doubt renewing some of our paperwork that was due, and quite honestly, I started to doubt whether or not I wanted to keep going down this road. We have been certified for just over a year now and within our first year, we were contacted by 5 birth mothers....3 of which we communicated for long periods of time. But for one reason or another, contact was cut short and we have no idea why. I'm not sure why every single birth mother we have talked to just suddenly decides to stop talking to us with out giving us an explanation, but then again, I can't imagine being in their shoes and to be experiencing what they are experiencing. I know that this is hard for David and I....to be on the adopting side of things. But I can't begin to imagine what it must be for the birth mother's who are desperately trying to find the RIGHT family that their baby is supposed to be with. So I can't get angry at the fact that I have no idea why communication keeps getting cut short without explanation when it seemed to be going so well. The only thing I can keep telling myself is that when the right birth mother finds us and gives us the opportunity to love and care for another baby, everything will work out and all these "bumps in the road" and tears will all be worth it!

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The past 2 weeks have been an answer to our prayers! We got a new case worker who is absolutely AMAZING! We have new found hope and ambition to keep going because she is making all the difference in this journey. It's nice to have a case worker who genuinelly cares and is excited to help us find our baby. We never felt that one time with our other case worker. So we are super excited to have her! And even more exciting news....because of a close friend of ours (you know who you are), we are now in contact with an amazing birth mother! I don't want to give details because this contact is still very new and we are just starting to get to know one another, but regardless of what happens...I'm just so thrilled to be in contact with a birth mother again. It's so hard to not get my hopes up but I'm trying to find the balance of reality and getting too excited! Haha! It's so hard for me not to get my hopes up because everyday I pray for this, and with every contact I get from birth mothers, I'm that much closer to finding our baby!

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I always knew that taking this adoption route was going to be difficult and emotional, but I guess no one ever really knows how difficult something is going to be until they are in the middle of it. Regardless of the pain and tears....and ups and downs....I KNOW that this is what we are supposed to be doing and that there is a precious spirit out there who is meant to be a part of our eternal family. I can't wait to meet him/her and to love him/her forever. I pray that this moment will come soon for our family. I think the only person that wants this as much as David and I is our sweet little Kylee girl. She continues to pray daily for a brother or sister and because of the events that have transpired these past couple weeks, she hears us talking and praying constantly about it and she thinks we are getting a baby any day now. We try to keep her out of things because we don't want to get her hopes up. Getting our hopes up is one thing, but to let down a sweet child is another. So we don't tell her when we are in contact with birth mothers. But she met our new case worker and she knows that she is going to help us find a baby.....so it is fresh on her mind and she thinks our case worker is going to bring us a baby tomorrow! Haha! She is so sweet and innocent. But I sure hope she is right! I pray that she is right!

2011 Family Reunion

We just had our 2011 family reunion (on David's side) and it was so much fun! I wasn't able to go to the last reunion because of regionals, but this year I was able to go and I'm so glad I did. I love all my family and am so thankful to have married into such an amazing family. We went to Utah where all of David's Aunts and Uncle live. It was a nice break in the weather. Our main "meeting" place was at Brett's house....where it was absolutely gorgeous.
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Here is Quincy, Navy and Kylee waiting their turn to ride Uncle Brett's horse!

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Finally their turn!!

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Kylee always wanted to hold baby Quincy. Hopefully she can hold her own baby brother or sister soon!

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The first day we were there we all went on a hike. Sydney, Meg and Madeline are such happer hikers!

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At the end of the hike was a waterfall. It was icy cold water from the melting snow-capped mountains. It was tucked in a little cave area. Here is Kylee walking towards the waterfall.

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The water was FREEZING and I could hardly handle it!

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We were all troopers and walked to through the cold water to the waterfall. But we didn't go through!!

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However, these crazy girls (Syd and Madge) did go through. They went through first and others followed after.

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Including Kylee! My brave little girl!!!

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Drying off on our hot car!

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The whole crazy gang that went on the hike!!

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Next we went ice blocking down a huge grassy hill. The kids all loved it!

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The next day was the reunion. It was at Aunt Jerelyn and Uncle Tom's Sandhill. The view was gorgeous!

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All the siblings starting off the program with a tradition fun song about the family. They are so much fun!

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Next was the talent show. Some of the girls singing "Mean" by Taylor Swift.

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No party is complete without a pinata!

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David wearing part of the pinata as a hat.

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Uncle Brett roping a baby calf so that Uncle Tom and his sons could brand and tag it. It was cool to see! The Momma cow in the back was mooing aggressively at the boys as if to say "leave my baby alone"! It was sad, but cool to experience!

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Kylee watching on Chad's knee! She met and made a lot of new friends on this trip. So glad she is able to get to know her extended family.

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Water balloon toss!!! Navy and Kylee never moved past this point. It was funny!

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Sparklers later that night. Kylee was a little concerned at first that it was going to burn her hand. Haha!

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Then the drive back home. We stopped in Vegas and stayed the night the way up and on the way back. It made the long drive to Utah not as LONG!

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We had so much fun on our trip. Kylee is so blessed to have so much family. We all are. But Kylee was able to play with all her cousins and new cousins she met in Utah. She is surrounded by so many people that love her. I don't know what we would do without family. We are truly so blessed! Can't wait for our next reunion!!! Hopefully Kylee will be bringing along a sibling or two by the time we see them all again. :)